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Jerome Ratliff and Jason Ratliff (The Self-Help Brothers)

How Expectations Harm A Relationship

no expectationsIn a relationship, often there are feelings hurt. Why is this? One of the reasons is that there are expectations for the other to fulfill their needs. When this happens, suddenly a partner becomes dependent on the other, when before they functioned just fine. When their expectations are not met, it is taken personally and their feelings get hurt.
So why do people change when they enter a relationship?
Especially in a friendship when both partners related with each other very well, but the expectations rose. I’ve come to the realization that entering a relationship often changes a person’s mental state. They expect of themselves to be different. To act kinder, do more favors, work harder, or just be someone they’re not. It becomes such a heavy burden to carry that it often causes friction in the relationship that eventually leads to the demise of the relationship.
A potential partner will not/cannot/or should not rescue you.
Another one of the greater culprits is the high expectations of waiting for some person to rescue them. The relationship is doomed before it even starts. We can only rescue ourselves. Expecting someone to live your life can be too much for a person to handle. True love, is what carries a relationship, and mutual love between 2 people gives fulfillment for both sides, rather than one person carrying all of the weight. One should never place that amount of pressure onto their partner. It also gives one’s own power away, when a partner believes that the other can save them. A true relationship is saving yourself and bringing the best of you to the relationship.

“The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, “If you will take care of me, I will take care of you. “Now I say, I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me.” Jim Rohn

Know your reasons why you’re entering a relationship. Are you starting a relationship for the wrong reasons, such as co-dependency or insecurities? Often there is a conflict in beliefs, where one believes they don’t need anyone, but yet another part has this yearning to experience some a sort of fairy tale romance. The truth is relationships take work and true love.
There is no perfect partner.
Placing high expectations on your partner places a great burden to live up to. They have big shoes to fill, that make it extremely difficult to ever meet. We must be realistic. We must see that we’re all human. We all make mistakes. We all have flaws. We weren’t taught the same values and beliefs on how a relationship should be, so a relationship is also a learning experiences, for both partners may I add.
To have a relationship is truly a gift and something we should honor. We shall persist on treating our partners with love and respect. Expecting them to meet your needs is not relating, nor is it love.
“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them” Thomas Merton, “No Man Is an Island”

Can you be your partner’s best friend?
Try first being friends with your potential mate. We must keep in mind that we are 2 different people that function perfectly fine independently. Working and sharing together can create a beautiful bond. When 2 relate to each other, there is more love for one another. No longer expectation but love and respect.
Friends can be friends and the expectations are minimal. With a relationship, comes expectations. How does one view a relationship? If it comes with expectations, then there is no relationship.
In my opinion, being with someone in a relationship should be relating with how the other person is and accepting them for who they are and not just putting up with them because you don’t understand them or because they don’t fulfill your needs.
Some people in life we will never be able to understand, but we do have a choice to accept who they are, even if it means parting ways. Know the state of your relationship. Both of you could just be better off as friends. Sometimes we prolong the inevitable due to our own personal insecurities. Be the most genuine person and strive to be the best that you have to offer.
“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” Anthony Robbins
Relationships are not the source of your happiness.

Waiting around for someone else to make you happy is one of best ways of make yourself miserable. Make yourself happy!! :-D

Be happy now, by being grateful for your blessings, going out and having fun if you prefer, giving others something to smile about and making yourself happy in the process. Walk away from people or environments that make you miserable. Find a purpose and start living it. If you’re looking to a relationship for the source of your happiness, you might be heading towards trouble.
“Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone.” Brian L. Weiss
Thank you for reading! If you liked this blog post, please visit see our home page, http://selfhelpmadesimple.com/ and search all topics of your interest.

Sincerely,
Jason Ratliff

image credited to http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs51/f/2009/272/7/a/No_expectations_by_XyZeR.png

Self Help Radio: Committed To Your Decisions

Are You Clear & Committed?Accomplishing a goal takes great determination and dedicated commitment. What prevents one from achieving their dreams? Is it that they give up too easy? How strong is their desire and/or passion? Listen to this great show as Jerome and Jason from selfhelpmadesimple.com discuss the power of decision and how quickly abundance becomes manifested in your life, once you decide to act.

To listen click here:

Popular Spirituality Internet Radio with Angel Heart Radio on BlogTalkRadio

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whenever you are making a decision it is vital to be clear on your intentions. Do not enter a decision on uncertainty or mixed feelings unsure of what to do or how you feel about it. If it’s just a desire but not a true passion, often you’ll find that it’s not strong enough to become manifested into your reality. What ends up being created is the mixed feelings that you have towards it. If you announce your intentions to the universe make it clear and concise. Mixed feelings create mixed results. Follow the next step by taking inspired action. Build upon your actions and everything will start to fall into place.

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Angel Heart Radio is Global Radio with more for you. More Inspiration, more support, more opportunities to feel heard and cared about. Why? Because you matter in the world.

“When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.” Paulo Cohelo

Believe in your dreams, go for it!

Sincerely,

Jason & Jerome Ratliff

 

Image credit to http://blogs-images.forbes.com/mikemyatt/files/2012/11/decision-making-processes1.jpg

13 Keys To Achievement

How does one achieve something that seems so out of reach?

13 keys to achievement

Simple, here are 13 keys to achievement.

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Stop the Negative and Think Positive Thoughts

Wouldn’t life be SO much easier if you had a stop button to STOP negative things from impacting your life?

Stop_negative_think_positive

Life would totally be different – wouldn’t it?

A conversation turn bad – press the STOP button and you’re back to your positive state. A pile of bills reminding you of what you don’t have – press the STOP button. Getting turned down for a job – press the STOP button. No more money in your account – press the STOP button.

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Thoughts On Thought

think positiveYour thoughts do not define you, they have a mind of it’s own… literally! HAHAHA Seriously though, if we don’t watch where they’re taking us, they may lead us to where we don’t care to go.

“Sometimes all you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breathe, and have faith that everything will work out for the best.” Unknown

Periodically a person will have positive and negative thoughts. Your experience comes from what dominates your mind the most. What dominates your mind may not always be your conscious choice but your subconscious that has been programmed through years of established beliefs, that you’ve created, on your own.

There are moments that make us become bitter, loved, hurt, happy, traumatized, and at peace. When we take the driver’s seat of how we’re thinking, we steer in the direction of our choice. Is it going to be easy to shift these thoughts to more positive? It’s your choice really. Do you care to stay in idle and allow the pattern of negative thought to rule your mind and consequently ruining your life experience? Sometimes it takes that extra conscious effort to snap out of that pattern, but It’s well worth it, if you care to turn your life around.

Try clearing your mind through breathing exercises, meditation, walks in nature, laughing, or surrounding yourself around positive and loving influences.

State of Mind = State of Peace

There are 2 parts to finding your peace:
1. Consciously monitoring your thoughts
2. Subconsciously placing yourself in a positive environment

Peace Be With You,

Jason Ratliff

 

image courtesy of http://www.teacherspayteachers.com/Product/FREE-Think-Positive-Poster-148877

Positive Narrowed Focus

Focus-on-positive-thingsWhat is a worry, other than a fear that has no relevancy to our best interest? What is the point of it really, when every word and/or thought has power behind it?

Worry is an unconscious conditioned response. It’s been passed down to us from society and our upbringing. Intentional? I wouldn’t like to think so. So what is it’s purpose? To create what could go wrong? But even the word “wrong” is wrong.

Why do I say this? Because even something that goes “wrong” has happened from the result of focused directed energy that made it happen. Like the focus of a fear. The more thought put into of being afraid, the more powerful the fear becomes. Where the energy is contributed, becomes the manifestation. All things that have occurred have been built by the consciousness from every human being.

There is power in your thoughts and passions. Direct your focus on matters of higher importance that help expand, grow, and evolve the loving goodness of your very own human nature. Why should we? Because it is in our nature. We gravitate towards the light. The place of our birth. Where we opened our eyes for the first time. Where we gained consciousness. It’s a journey, longing to be home again. Why have we taken this journey? Because it is a gift to experience. It’s a sort of amnesia that allows us to start out on our own. With the choice to experience the contrasting perspective.

Self-Help Tip:  Relax and let go of your worries. Doing this will give you time to calm the mind and think more clearly, refreshed. We can’t always be in constant think mode. When you give the mind a break, the worries you had are released and the problems fly away. After peace is gained, a message of hope comes flying back in providing you with the wisdom to resolve the prior worries.

Take every life experience as an opportunity to grow.

Glad to grow along with you,

Jason Ratliff

 

picture accredited to positivebutterflies.com

Self Help Radio – 10 Ways to Share Your Story

Don’t know how to share your story?

Share Your Story

No need to fret about it. Stories are shared in so many different ways and have been shared for generations. You hear stories about people’s lives in books, about people’s personal experience in their profession, their relationships and the list goes on and on.

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Your Inner Voice

Your voice is found within you.

The entertaining frog can perform the greatest ensembles when nobody is looking but when put on stage it loses its ability.
Have you ever found yourself having trouble speaking in public, performing on stage, or meeting new people, but when you’re in a comfortable setting like by yourself, in the shower, or around a select company, that you feel comfortable and free to be yourself? It’s moments like these where you are zoned in, expressing yourself freely, and with no distractions.

Anyone can do this. The talent you already possess within, so please do not doubt yourself. It’s all mental. As we become more comfortable in our own skin, being yourself becomes true nature.

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Self Help Radio – Facing Your Fears

Listen to our latest episode of Self Help Made Simple on BlogTalkRadio as we’re talking about “Facing Your Fears”. Simply click the PLAY button below…

Listen to internet radio with Angel Heart Radio on Blog Talk Radio

Listen to this show, Facing Your Fears and all of our shows on demand by going to www.angelheartradio.com. In addition to what you’re going to hear on this show I got some other great things to share with you too. You can read it below…

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Love Has No Restrictions

Does true love really exist?

true love

How does one define this true love? Well if I compare it to what is written in romance novels I might become skeptical.

When a relationship falls apart, it’s not the end of the world. Somewhere out there IS someone better for you that matches you perfectly but don’t get caught up in dreaming about it so much.

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